Today's Funny Clean Jokes & Humor

Clean Joke of the Day

An elderly woman's portrait

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She instructed the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, an emerald necklace, a ruby bracelet, and a Rolex watch."

"But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist said.

"I know," she replied. "But if I should die before my husband, I'm sure he'll remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry!"

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Today's Law of the Universe

from Basic Laws of the Universe

David Randolph

Parsifal is the kind of opera that starts at six o'clock and after it has been running for three hours, you check your watch and it says 6:20.

For more somewhat cynical but always humorous views of the world in which we live, please visit our sister site
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Funny Quotes of the Day

from Basic Quotations
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro
More funny quotes on: [ Death ]

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill
More funny quotes on: [ Death ]

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
- Ian L. Fleming
More funny quotes on: [ Death ]

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Funny Cartoons of the Day

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	Clean Jokes - Funny Jokes
	Jokes are words communicated with the intent of being laughed at or found funny. Laughter is the biological reaction of people to humor and funny jokes. Our clean jokes are healthy and are recommended to every human being daily.

Clean Jokes - Funny Jokes