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Clean Joke of the Day

A Jury Full of Lawyers

A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial.

It was nearly 4:00 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom.

The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury room to see what was holding up the verdict.

When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?"

The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? They're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"

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Today's Law of the Universe

from Basic Laws of the Universe

Sir Ernest Newman

His music used to be original. Now it's aboriginal. [About Igor Stravinsky]

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- Basic Laws of the Universe -



Funny Quotes of the Day

from Basic Quotations

If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill
More funny quotes on: [ Hell ]

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
More funny quotes on: [ Fools ]

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
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