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Funny Driving Quotes - Funny Quotes about Driving Never drive faster than your Guardian Angel can fly.
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Drive carefully! Remember, it's not only a car that can be recalled by it's maker.
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Some days you're a bug, some days you're a windshield.
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If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
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When Solomon said that there was a time and a place for everything he had not encountered the problem of parking an automobile.
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A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light.
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Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
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When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always meet at the bridge.
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When travelling down the freeway, the first bug to hit a clean windshield will always land directly in front of the driver's face.
More funny Quigley's Law of Highway Driving quotes
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.
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The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling "The British are coming! The British are coming!" [On Boston traffic]
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The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
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Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? (from Mork and Mindy)
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Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time...
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There are two things no man will admit he cannot do well: drive and make love.
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Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
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Boston's freeway system is insane. It was clearly designed by a person who had spent his childhood crashing toy trains. -- (The Lost Continent)
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I drive a V10 Ford Excursion and I have to tell folks all the time: look I've got five kids and a dog and birds. I would have to have two Lincolns with two V8s, you see, so it would be 16 cylinders.
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For many years the National Pretend Speed Limit was fifty-five miles per hour, metric equivalent: 378 kilograms per hectare.
More funny Dave Barry quotes
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Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I remember how insignificant that is, and I thank God that I have a car and my health and gas. That was phrased wrong - normally you wouldn't say, thank God I have gas.
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